All Right

All right. I'm now 'reviving' my blog.Kinda weird huh. I think I have no choice but to find a space for myself to pour out all the feelings long embedded in my soul.

Frankly, I am a weirdo. I change. I can't predict what type of person i'll be the next second. Because i'm easily influenced, my mind is easily influenced. That's why i made the wrong decisions often. I just can't controll myself. And that's why now i don't have the desire to make friends, to socialize. I don't want all that. I just want to be myself. To make whatever i think is right. Not what other people do, and not what other people want you to do. But i think it's late. It's too late. I've made the wrong steps which i can't return anymore.

I don't know how big or worse the implications can be. I don't know. I fear. I'm worried. I'm exhausted.

Please tell me that i can' I'll love it. I'll move on. My mom told me so. Sometimes we have no choice. Once we made the decisions, no matter wrong, or right, we have to move in. It's not the matter if we love or not, we just have to get moving on. Is that so? I'm not sure. Although i want to believe it, very much.

Engineering is not my passion, from the beginning. I forced myself to like it, to love it and i thought i love it. Until i'm tired of myself. I'm disappointd of myself.I don't know if I can do it. Can I? Can I?ARGH